My family is not a traditional Jewish family, though we may not be atypical. My dad's mother, Ellen, grew up in Connecticut going to synagogue with her Jewish mother and father. Her grandparents immigrated to the United States in the early 1900s. Eventually, she had my father, Gabe. He grew up going to church with his father after they separated, but always considered himself Jewish. As an adult, he revisited his Jewish identity in all of its complexities. Finally, he married a non-Jewish woman, my mother, and had my sister, Lara, and me.

Ellen, Gabe, and Lara navigated, and continue to navigate, what it means to be an American Jew in the 20th and 21st centuries. I decided to ask them for their stories and see what they had to say.

I sat down with them for about two hours each and asked them everything I had time for. I asked for their life stories — from childhood through school and adulthood, I wanted to learn how they became who they are today. I also questioned them about their Jewish identities. How do they see themselves as Jewish? What does "being Jewish" mean? Then, I asked them about success, the model minority stereotype, and certain parallels between Jewish and Asian Americans.

After transcribing and analyzing these interviews, I compiled what they had to say about each topic alongside my own analysis in the coming pages. My family cannot and does not represent all Jews, nor do I claim they do. However, their life experiences are real and their Jewish identities are real.

Though these interviews did not make everything clear immediately, they continue to help me understand my own Jewish identity. I hope they can help you do the same.